Superfluous Nonsense

Having a blog is an interesting thing.

I started this blog for my friends and family, and for myself. I wanted everyone to know what I was up and this was easier than sending out mass emails every day. I also started it for myself, so that I can look back on the stories that composed my life in the Fall of 2012.

Since I started my blog, I've had over 5,000 page views and my blog has been viewed in 63 countries. Almost all of them have visited more than once. It's interesting to me that people care enough about what I write on here that they come back to read a second time.

Anyways, there are days, like today, where I don't have anything specific to write about but I just feel like writing a blog. And then, as I'm writing about some superfluous nonsense like my blog audience, it dawns on me what I'm supposed to be writing about.

I've learned so much in China that I don't think it's possible for me to claim that I'm the same person that I was four months ago.

One of the most important on the list, is that I can do hard things! Really hard things. I uprooted my life and moved to another city in another country where I only knew one person out of the seven million in the population.

Adjusting to life in China was pure hell. I won't for one second lead anyone to believe that it was even relatively easy. Culture shock is overwhelming and exhausting and frustrating to the point of tears. Communication barriers are everywhere and all you really want to do is blend in. I've stood out like a sore thumb since I left Los Angeles. There were days where I wouldn't go out in public because I could not bear the staring or for one more person to scream "HELLO!" at me.

The first two weeks of teaching made me question my every decision that led to me coming to China. I strongly disliked everything about it. The teaching method, the school, even the kids. Everything sucked. I didn't know what I was doing and the kids were devils.

I don't know where the pivotal moment occurred. I don't know the day that I just decided that I was in love with China and I don't know when it started to melt my heart to hear my kids yell "Teacha Kayla!!!" and literally swarm me when they saw me walk around the corner to pick them up for class.

My experience living in China will be exponentially beneficial to the rest of my life. If you can live in a foreign country successfully, you can do anything. I feel like my opportunities are limitless and there's really nothing I can't do.

I guess what I'm getting at, is that my confidence is pretty overwhelming and that's a great feeling. I didn't have a lot of that when I left America. I've lost a lot of weight, I can speak some Chinese, and I'm the world's best charades player. I'm a better person. I can love stronger, because I know what it's like to go without people you love for an extended period of time, and I can love strangers. The people of China wear their life stories on their faces. I sit on trains and just think about the kind of life these people have lived. Used to, I might have been annoyed at some random Chinese person wanting to practice their four-word English vocabulary with me, and now it just makes me happy. I am happy to talk to them.

Seven more nights in Changzhou, two more in Shanghai, and four more days with my babies.

"Time waits on no one. If you want to do something, you better get it done." -Ralph Webb (My grandpa :))