The Girl I Used To Be

For some reason, it's so much easier to make ridiculous, spur-of-the-moment decisions while in China. I don't necessarily view that as a bad thing, either.

I've noticed that I've had a lot of "why not?!" moments here. I've noticed that in America, I really restrict myself. I've noticed how liberating it feels to do something silly "just because."

For example, today I got another ear piercing and then bought colored contacts. Why? Because I can! And, it's fun to change things up. I'm going to rely on that kind of thing pretty heavily back in the States because I'm afraid life might seem terribly monotonous to me after having an adventure every single weekend- if not every single day- over the last four months. After all, I did go biking through the breath-taking mountains of Yangshuo and stand on the Great Wall all within a month. Heck, I went to Beijing and Shanghai in the same week.

I feel like a completely different person since I've been here. I'm more outgoing, more sociable, more adventurous, more patient, less angry, and overall more relaxed. I can't say that I worry about much, because if I can't do anything about the situation in question, why worry?! I deal with things a lot better. If something doesn't go as planned, I make an adventure out of it. In a lot of ways, I feel so far away from the girl that I used to be. Don't me wrong, my overall personality is still the same. I'm still hard-headed, difficult to get along with at times, and care about people I love more than anything. Not to sound conceited, but if there's one thing I love about myself, it's that I will drop whatever I am doing and tend to someone who is in need. If I can help, I will do anything to do so. Even if I barely know the person.

It's kinda funny how I came here to be a teacher, because I'm the one who has been taught- about unconditional love, patience, priorities, and most importantly, how to enjoy the little things, and make those count for more than the bad stuff. My students have taught me far more than I ever could them.

I've had this wave of calm wash over me the past couple days. In no way am I insinuating that I won't be upset when it's time to say goodbye to my babies, but I have stumbled upon this idiopathic understanding that this entire four month occasion is not one fit for tears, but one fit for relentless smiles, laughs, appreciation, love, and remembering the best times of my life.

It also helps that I have a mass hoard of people waiting to welcome me at Dayton International Airport. I don't feel ready to come home, but I think that will change as I'm watching China fade into the horizon from United Airlines flight 3661 in a couple weeks. My life has astounding potential and it's pretty awesome to think about all the things I can do.

I can't wait to start planning my next adventure, but I promise to ignore the itch and stay stateside for at least a little while.